Negative Emotions May Bring Positive Change About

emotional intelligence emotional regulation Nov 02, 2022
Negative emotions like loneliness, envy and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they are big, flashing signs that something needs to change. Quote by Gretchen Rubin

Negative emotions are like messengers that, sometimes, we want to shoot, ban from entering, or even knocking on our door.

The danger in doing so is that we never “get the warning message,” so we might stay in situations that don’t serve us and might even be extremely harmful in the long run to us and/or our team.

We all have different strategies to “shoot the messengers,” aka the negative emotions, so we temporarily feel a bit better.

Yet, like fast food, if done too often and most of the time… it usually doesn’t end in vibrant health and happiness.

Nor does suppressing and avoiding our negative feelings – and therefore not learning the positive and helpful message they carry for our life.

– we suppress them, numb ourselves by overwork, overeating, drugs, too much sex or alcohol, distract ourselves by scrolling through social media or mindlessly watching TV or going on vacations we cannot afford, buying things that we don’t really need, by saying yes to others when we want to say no inside…

But… we push that little voice with the message away.

  • We shut it down.
  • Block it.
  • Ban it.
  • We wish it to disappear.

But with it, true happiness and fulfillment, feeling vibrant and deeply connected with others, can also disappear.

My invitation today for all of us is to listen to that inner voice inside of us. Not just when we are happy but also when we are sad, upset, disappointed, anxious, scared (or any other negative emotion you experience today).

  1. When feeling a negative emotion/sensation, PAUSE. Notice – what are the thoughts that come up for you when that emotion comes up
  2. Notice – what are your physical sensations when the emotion “visits you”?
  3. Listen to understand (not to respond) to this messenger (= negative emotion).
  4. What does this emotion tell you about your needs, values, priorities, and desires?
  5. What out of the above is not being met, honored, or fulfilled, and therefore causes the warning message through the Negative Emotion Messenger?
  6. What next step would honor you, your needs, and your values and empower those around you?

Kudos if you’ve read this far! Thank you for doing the inner work.

And by that, being a role model for others so that we can create a world where more and more people learn how to regulate their emotions effectively, and in doing so, create & experience more peace – inside out.

To your success, 



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