The Power of Being Seen: A Leadership Lesson from a Nurse

A few months ago, I had my blood drawn by a nurse.

I felt pain. But it wasn’t mine.

It was early morning, around 6 a.m. I was one of the first patients in. The nurse, trying to distract me from how many vials of blood were being taken, asked me about my work. I shared that I’m a leadership and strategic intervention coach with a passion for emotional intelligence.

To my surprise, the words leadership and emotional intelligence struck a nerve.

“I wish my boss had someone like you,” he said. “Someone to teach him a bit of emotional intelligence.”

He went on to share how he’s been performing consistently well for years, without mistakes. But recently, he made one — using the wrong ampule during a draw. And that’s the only time his boss spoke up.

No feedback when things go well.
Only criticism when something goes wrong.

He felt upset. Underappreciated. Like all his years of excellent work meant nothing.

He wasn’t thinking of quitting out of laziness or entitlement — he was exhausted from not being seen.
He told me the only joy left in his day was connecting with kind patients. And even that was fading.

The Problem Isn't Just Bad Leadership.

It’s unconscious leadership.

Our survival brain (the part of us designed to scan for threats) doesn’t look for what’s working.
It looks for what’s wrong. That’s useful in a jungle. Not so much in a workplace. Or a home.

When we let our survival brain drive our interactions, we lose trust, connection, and motivation in the people around us. And perhaps even within ourselves.

🧠 Today’s Mini M.E. Fitness Practice

For anyone who leads, loves, or lives alongside other humans

1. Think of someone who’s recently annoyed you.
   A colleague, a direct report, your partner, your parent.

2. Pause. Ask yourself:

   What’s one thing they’ve done right lately?

3. Tell them.
   Send a message. Drop a line in your next meeting. Say it at dinner.

This Is Not About Being Nice.

It’s about being aware.

It’s about choosing to see the whole picture, not just the flaw.

Our survival brain helps us survive.
But our human spirit? That’s what helps us thrive.

So today, let’s practice seeing what’s right.

💬 What about you?

Who’s one person you could appreciate today?